Little Bo peeks

[raihnstar]

She let him rock her, burying her face in his chest and hiccuping every once in awhile, getting his shirt all messy and her face all messy and feeling terrible all around. But there came a point when she couldn't cry any more. There weren't any tears left, and all she did was listen to him sing You are My Sunshine again. When he was done she sighed. "I'm sorry I'm being such a butt...I just...you know..." she murmured miserably. "It was all fine...and I really...really fucked it up. And I don't think we can fix this one. I don't think we can fix it."

They'd had fights before, of course. The three of them had gotten pissed off at each other countless times, so it was two on one, or all three on each other, or a general feeling of unease... but it'd get fixed. One of them always broke down under the pressure...or being alone finally got to them...or somebody saw how stupid the whole fight was...and then they were back together, doing stupid things and laughing at them again. All together.

"I wish...I could rewind time."

[ßlue]

<sub>Geo let her cry, singing softly to her and letting her curl against him. He liked the feel of her in his arms and he wasn't ashamed of thinking it even though it was this that had broken their friend away from them. He felt his blue eyes water sadly, his ears sliding to the sides in a sad way. It all made him sad. Janine hating them, leaving them. They never would have had this problem if he hadn't fallen in love with Clarette. This was his fault. He was just so sexy sometimes. Clarette couldn't resist him... Okay, that was very far-fetched. Clarette could fall for whoever she wanted, but what had happened? She'd never shown interest till that day. Now what did they do? Geo rested his head on her cheek, listening to her miserable voice and closing his eyes to think. He let his arms draw her as close as he could and felt comforted by her warmth. She was alive, he could hear her heart beating and blood surging through her. Her face was hot against him.

"Clarette... I think everyone has that wish. I wish I had done and hadn't done things before. It's the first thing that comes to mind, wishing to undo it all. But you know what? We all make choices, and we have to live with them and... I'm sorry Clarette, but... I love you. I dont remember when I didn't love you. Maybe it's been there since we were six. Thats the only thing I know right now and I dont regret it. I'm sorry..."

He pressed her against him, his own face hot as he confessed to her. Sh already knew of course. Or at least... she should know. He felt himself want to sigh in frustration for everything happening. Love. Damn it to hell. That was the root of all problems, wasn't it? Friends are happy, but two of them fall in love with the third and it could ruin everything. A king falling in love with a princess of another land could start wars, assassinations, death, destruction. One boy falling in love with a girl who didn't love him back could create such heartache. He faintly remembered feeling stabs of pain and jealousy whenever Janine had kissed Clarette and he blushed. He'd had that mouth now. And who knew? Maybe he could have it again.</sub>

[raihnstar]

Clarette was silent, listening to him say he loved her and nodded, as if this all made perfect sense. "That's just it, isn't it? Love... If I had actually been gay, maybe it would have been different. If Janine hadn't fallen in love with me. If I hadn't fallen in love with you. If--" she clenched her teeth. "If I had stopped it early enough. But I was so selfish. I thought about how it was nice to piss off my mom, and I never took it seriously. Even when I saw that Janine took it seriously I didn't take it seriously--" Clarette stopped again, shaking in her grief.

"Jesus, this is all my fault. I-- I even told her I loved her back-- but-- but she doesn't understand!" The girl wailed, "I do love her! I love her with all my heart! But it's a different kind-- it's different then what I feel with you." Her voice had turned bitter and Clarette looked around at the still light that poured in through the windows. The morning seemed to grow longer. "...And I should have seen it coming. We all-- we all should have seen it coming."

She remembered how many times she and Janine had gotten into fights because she hung out with Geo too much, or because she'd stop returning her calls, or how Marie Clarette chased away any girlfriends Geo happened to pick up that Janine had found for him with cold angry looks. "But me especially. This is all my fault."

[ßlue]

<sub>Geo nodded, listening and sighing. Yeah, it might seem all Clarette's fault, but if he wanted to think it was all his fault then he could think up reasons too. He shouldn't have fallen for his friend's girlfriend, shouldn't have hit on her so much, shouldn't have flirted with other girls at parties to try vainly to make Clarette jealous. Which apparently it had and he hadn't realized. If only he'd have been sooner, if only he'd have grabbed up Clarette before Janine at that party when they were young. God, it seemed so long ago. If only... He looked down at Clarette, another determined sigh escaping him.

"Don't let it depress you Mon Cherie(<-?)... You did exactly what happened and thats all there is to it. W will live. So will Janine. You didn't kill her. Broken hearts can heal. Everything takes time. She'll always love you. Just remember that. You both love each other. Not same way, but you both have been friends since like...four. Thats got to count for something..."

He landed a kiss on her forhead, slipping up and walking to the window to fling the curtains open. He felt more awake now. He wanted to get out and do something. Go somewhere. What would they do today? He was itching to climb or run or just jump off of something...

"Hey, have you ever been skydiving?"

It was short as he looked out the window, and without seeing his face it was a wonder to whether he was kidding or not.</sub>